Hello! Hazy here. This was another attempt at tackling a subject that, to say the least, occupied my mind for a bit.
Hope you enjoy!
——————————— SOMEWHERE, SOMETIME… ———————
The couple stumbled through the alley, their breaths ragged and hearts pounding. The dead were close—too close. They could hear the guttural growls and the shuffle of decaying feet behind them, growing louder with each passing second.
“Keep moving!” the man urged, gripping his partner’s hand tightly. But they both knew they were running out of time.
Just as the first rotting hand reached out to grab them, a blur shot past their eyes. A masked figure dropped down from above, landing between the couple and the horde of undead. His face was obscured by a sleek, black mask, and his silhouette cut a sharp figure in the dim alley.
With impossible speed, the figure moved, taking out the first zombie with a bone-crushing kick that sent it flying into the brick wall. Its decaying body crumbled to pieces on impact.
The couple watched in shock as the masked man tore through the horde like a force of nature. Every movement was precise—superhuman. He lifted one zombie by the neck and slammed it into the ground with ease, while another was thrown like a ragdoll against a dumpster.
His fists moved like lightning, each punch landing with a sickening thud that echoed through the narrow alley. In seconds, what had been a growing mob of undead was reduced to nothing more than broken, lifeless bodies strewn across the ground.
The masked figure stood among the carnage, his chest rising and falling with steady, controlled breaths. He turned to the couple, his glowing eyes peering through the dark mask.
“You’re safe,” he said, his voice calm and commanding.
Before they could utter a word of thanks, he was gone—vanishing into the night as if he were never there.
The couple stood frozen, hearts still racing as they processed what had just happened.
“Holy shit…” the man whispered, wiping sweat from his brow. “I think… this is Dead Mode.”
The woman nodded, still in shock. “Yeah… that had to be him.”
They stood in awe, feeling the safety he had promised them.
[YOU HAVE LEVELED UP! CONGRATULATIONS!] The message flashed for the masked man as he stood atop a rooftop, the city sprawled beneath him.
“Phew… Took long enough,” the masked figure muttered, glancing at his stats.
[Specifically, 10 days this time, Boyo. But let’s not sweat it—every one of your levels is worth 20 of theirs.] The voice echoed in his mind. [Oh, and you heard what that guy said? You’ve got a new nickname.]
“Didn’t I tell you 100 times not to call me ‘Boyo’ Anymore…? As for the nickname, I heard… ‘Dead Mode,’ was it?” He stretched, feeling the tension in his muscles release.
[So corny.]
“Maybe to you… but for me,” he grinned under the mask, “I like it.”
With that, he leapt forward, the rooftops just a blur beneath his feet—nothing but obstacles in his way as he headed for the next target.
————————————————
Trust alone can’t keep you afloat.
I trusted my father, and he left. It made me wonder—what’s the point of trusting or distrusting if, in the end, everyone leaves?
I still don’t know.
While I wrestled with those thoughts, she kept calling out to me.
“What do you want for dinner?”
“How was school?”
The things a mother asks her child.
I thought it was futile. She was betrayed, just like me.
If she left, like him, her life would be easier. So why did she care how I felt? Why was she so worried about me? After all, I put all my faith in my father—and he still walked away.
At some point, it’s bound to happen to us too. My father loved me. He loved her. But he still left, even though he promised nothing on this earth could take him away from me.
So why bother trying?
But she kept asking.
“Do you want ice cream today, Jiho?” she’d say, tilting her head with that same smile.
I’d stare back with hollow eyes, tilting my head in the opposite direction.
And still, she asked.
“Look at you… Look at my baby… Do you remember when you were a kid?” she’d say, pointing at an old picture.
A picture from happier days. Days I could trust. When I could swing, knowing he’d be behind me, ready to push me once more. But now he’s gone. Just like you’ll be. Whether it’s in a year or twenty, you’ll leave too. So why bother?
Yet she kept asking.
“Don’t stay out too late, okay?”
Every day. Every hour.
Trust alone can’t keep you afloat.
But before I realized it, I started to trust again.
I trusted that she’d keep asking me those questions, the ones a mother asks her son. Like buoys, they kept me from drowning.
And as I rose above the water, I saw Eunhee and Daniel. I wanted to stay with them in that boat.
I wasn’t hollow anymore.
I suppose…
Trust did end up keeping me afloat after all.
Early morning. The school day had just started, and Eunhee, Daniel and Jiho were walking together to the school.
“You two slept well?” Jiho called with a smile as he looked at Daniel and Eunhee.
“Y-yeah… I had a… Good night’s rest.” She murmured as she looked to the side after a momentary glance at Daniel.
“Me too, man.” He blurted to Jiho with a satisfied, knowing smirk on his face, “What’s with you?”
‘They’re in such good spirits, it seems… I wonder what happened? Oh! Today’s the festival, isn’t it?’ Jiho thought as he nodded back to the tall Daniel.
Daniel was a big guy for his age—towering over Jiho by nearly three heads, with Jiho standing only at 1.6 meters. Daniel worked out regularly, dressed sharply, and always smelled clean. With his chiseled chin, angular face, and perfectly slicked buzz cut of dark hair, he looked the part of someone who commanded attention. No one in school was stronger than him, and Jiho had lost count of the times Daniel had effortlessly lifted him onto his shoulder in crowded streets or restaurants.
He wasn’t just strong—Daniel was popular. As the captain of the boxing club, he attracted a near cult-like following. People naturally gravitated toward him. But despite the attention, Daniel always chose to hang out with Jiho and Eunhee. The only time he let someone else in close was with a girl. Known as a womanizer, Daniel surprisingly carried no bad rumors. Even his past girlfriends seemed to speak well of him.
When it came to fights, Daniel had a reputation. Jiho never had to worry about being bullied, because just being Daniel’s friend guaranteed him a peaceful existence at school. If anyone had something to say about Jiho, they’d never dare say it to his face.
Then there was Eunhee—a petite redhead with a smattering of freckles. While she wasn’t the hottest girl in school, she was definitely a contender. If she put effort into her makeup and clothes, everyone knew she could easily stand at the top. Eunhee was smart—she excelled academically and, lately, had become more physically fit, and womanly in a way; most likely due to her age. But despite her potential, she preferred simplicity. She was content as she was.
Interestingly, Eunhee didn’t have any female friends. She only spent time with Jiho and Daniel, feeling most comfortable around them. She didn’t mind chatting with other girls if they approached her, but she always politely declined invitations to hang out. Her plans were almost always with Jiho, Daniel, or both. Because of this, she developed a tomboy reputation, though she didn’t act like one at all.
And then there was Jiho.
He had no particular talents—not in academics, sports, or the arts. He was just Jiho, the average guy who somehow managed to draw two of the school’s most amazing students to his side. Scrawny, barely taller than the girls, and unremarkable in most ways—except for one thing.
Jiho’s one true talent was trusting his friends.
And he, too…
…was content.
“I’m actually kind of nervous… B-because of the festival and all,” Jiho said, momentarily glancing at Eunhee.
‘I am nervous, but not because of the festival…’
“The festival? You’re not one to go to these kinds of events, Jiho…” Eunhee hummed in curiousity.
‘I decided that today, I’ll confess to Eunhee. I’ll tell her that I’ve loved her ever since we were children!’ He thought as he looked ahead, continued to walk.
“W-well…” Jiho stuttered as he scratched his head, “F-first.. Time for everything—” Jiho murmured, but was swiftly cut off by Eunhee, who grabbed both of his cheeks, stretching them apart.
“E-eunhee, staaahp~” He muttered in discomfort, having difficulty speaking as the pouting girl stretched his lips.
“YOU’RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM US, HUH!?” She growled playfully as she pinched and twisted his cheek.
“Daniel, I’m going with him to the festival!” She resolved as she looked at Daniel with sudden intensity, “I wanna find out why he wants to stop being a recluse! I’m worried!” She playfully blurted, as her banter and playfulness drew attention.
“Hmm…” Daniel hummed as he looked up momentarily, “Yeah, keep an eye on him. I also wanna know. Kinda.” He sighed with a soft chuckle as he continued walking.
“THEN, IT’S A DATE, JIHO.” She blurted out loud.
“H-HEY, DON’T SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT!” He hurried to blurt out, his heart racing at her words and casualness to it.
“No, I WILL. That way, no one will get the wrong idea that they can take you from us.” She blurted confidently.
“A-ah… I see…” Jiho nervously murmured as Eunhee let go of his mouth. “S-sure…”
‘… N-Nice… Daniel!’ Jiho thought as he looked at his best friend. ‘Sasuga, my WINGUMANNU!’ He proudly thought to himself with a smile.
‘… Though, she doesn’t really have to ask Daniel for approval, she coulda just asked me…’ Jiho thought with a slight twitch of his lip.
‘Oh well! He’s just that reliable.’ Jiho shrugged.
“Sheesh, stop looking at me like that. It’s creepy…” Daniel contorted his eyes as he looked away in discomfort from Jiho, who laughed it off.
‘Daniel advised me against it, since it might make things awkward… He’s such a good friend. But I just… Can’t keep it in anymore!’ Jiho thought as he walked in the middle of the group.
‘Maybe we could go on double dates? Me and Eunhee and Daniel and his girlfriend? He seemed to talk to her a lot on the phone when I hang out with him, I wonder if it’s someone new…’ Jiho wondered.
Soon enough, the three reached the school gate. As the students flocked in, Jiho spotted a solitary figure standing near the gate, her eyes scanning around; as if looking for someone. She was a very pretty girl. She had a long hair, and she wore tight, short jeans with a white t-shirt.
“Oh, good morning, noona!” Jiho nodded to the girl with a smile after they got near the school grounds.
(Noona means elder sister. It doesn’t have to be an actual blood related sister, but it’s respectful to address an older woman as noona in South Korea)
Both Daniel and Eunhee’s heads snapped to the girl as Jiho stepped forward to greet her.
“Oh, twink. What’s up? How are you today?” She casually blurted as she looked at Jiho while leaning against the wall.
“Not twink, its Jiho, Noona! And I’m doing great, thank you! How are you?” He asked.
She took a deep sigh, “… Today I’m good too, it seems… Bitch.” She murmured unable to meet his eye again.
“Nice… Uh, have a good day!” He said with a bow before returning to Daniel and Eunhee.
“Whatever… I’m off,” She said as she turned around and left the school.
“Hello, Noona!” Eunhee called with a bow as Jiho made his way back.
“Yo,” Daniel waved soon after.
The older girl didn’t even acknowledge the other two,
“Tsk, she’s so cold as usual…” Daniel murmured with a click of his tongue.
“You said she’s some university girl that came to the school and decided to greet you every morning out of nowhere?” Eunhee called in curiosity.
‘Ah… I hope she doesn’t get the wrong idea…’ Jiho thought as he scratched his head.
“Haha, my bro’s getting popular, huh..!!!?” Daniel teased as he pulled Jiho into a shoulder locked and violently rustled his hair.
“A-ah… S-stop it, Daniel… You know I don’t have a girlfriend… yet…” Jiho struggled to say with a smile, as he glanced momentarily at Eunhee.
“Now, now… Daniel, we’ll be late for school…” Eunhee said. “But Jiho…” She continued, her gaze becoming somewhat scary, sending shivers down Jiho’s and Daniel’s spine as they frolicked.
“Considering we’re dating today… You shouldn’t talk to other girls so earnestly,” She scolded gently as she turned around and began walking away with a satisfied smirk.
“…” Jiho remained silent, his heart skipping a beat at her words.
“… Like I said, Mr. Popular~…” Daniel teased with a smirk.
“OH SHUT IT!” Jiho blurted as he pushed him out.
“Sure, sure~” Daniel chuckled as they entered the school grounds, following Eunhee.
‘Really…’ Jiho thought as he looked at the two walking ahead of them, ‘I… Couldn’t be luckier having these two with me.’
—— 10 YEARS AGO —————–
Jiho looked at the pavement, his jaw clenched on it as he laid on the road. “Alright, alright, now you gotta step on his head just like in the video!” a childish voice called out.
Three older children towered above the beaten and bruised Jiho while cackling and laughing at him as if he were some joke written in chalk on the road.
That’s one of my earliest memories right there, when I was in middle school, around seven or six years old. Those three tormenting me that day because I did something to piss them off. I hated them, but they were not the root cause of my anger. We weren’t that different. I also liked dropping my dog from really tall places and hearing him squirm and howl in agony as he dashed someplace narrow so I couldn’t reach him as he shat all over the place. So, I understood why it was so funny to them.
It feels good. Having power over people. Watching your strength, your actions; having such a great effect on people or animals. Whether you were trusting, distrusting, empty or feeling abundant, I noticed it. As if a rather light cloth lit with fire was dropped within me, burning brilliantly, until it didn’t every time I hurt my dog.
Jiho could feel the pristine, dusty shoe pressing on the back of his head as he breathed in dust from the pavement, almost chewing on the sidewalk, glancing at the pedestrians who passed them by, who acted as if he didn’t exist.
… We’re so great, according to the media and our parents, yet we all enjoy doing things like this to each other. We all do this just for a cloth of fire that burns out real fast in your head.
At least, that’s what I thought.
Until he came along.
“HEY!!!” a boyish voice called as the shoe was raised, ready to step on Jiho’s head.
All the bullies’ heads turned in the direction of the call.
“Who the fuck are you!?!” one of the bullies called.
Jiho could hear steps rapidly getting closer from the side, crashing against one of the bullies. “LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!” the boy screamed as he bumped into the bully who had his foot over Jiho’s head, knocking them down.
“HEY, YOU!!! RUN AWAY FROM HERE!” he said as he turned to Jiho in a hurry.
Confused, heart pounding, and sweaty, Jiho swiftly turned tail and bolted from the scene, the sounds of blows being traded fading into the distance.
Soon after, the boy who came to Jiho’s rescue was beaten badly. But so were the three bullies. Jiho waited for him nearby, unable to leave him.
“Why did you… help me?” Jiho asked as he sat beside the boy on a bench at an isolated park nearby.
The boy brushed blood off his nose. “Nothing special. You just shooed those guys away from my little brother earlier. He ran to me and told me about it, so I came here to return the favor. I don’t usually do this,” he said as he got up.
I didn’t do that because I was a good person. I just saw that kid, and I just felt… Wouldn’t it be cool to be acknowledged? To be looked up to? Like how my dog always looked up to me, despite me beating him so much? So, I just sprang to help.
But… That selfish act was what won over the brother of that boy.
‘He’s so… grown up,’ Jiho thought as he looked at the boy as he walked away, despite appearing to be around the same age as Jiho. ‘Almost like dad… If he was still here,’
“Hey…! Wait,” Jiho called, causing the boy to stop. “What’s your name?!”
“… It’s Daniel,” he murmured reluctantly. “You’re weak, but since you saved my bro, I wanna know yours too.”
“I-I’m Jiho! Jiho An! Let’s be friends!” he called, rising from the bench with enthusiasm.
“Nah… I’m good. I don’t need friends,” Daniel said, waving Jiho off.
“Uh… UH…!!! I’m…!!!” Jiho started. “Tomorrow, I’ll come to this park again! If… I-If you wanna play!” he called.
Daniel turned his head, looking at Jiho’s determined expression.
“…Whatever,” he said as he turned back and continued walking away.
That was the first time I ever did something like this. I don’t know what was crossing my mind… I just knew that… I wanted to be close to that guy. Be his friend. All of a sudden, hating other kids and people in general didn’t matter.
All of a sudden, Daniel wasn’t in that category.
Jiho arrived at the park, playing by himself.
It was starting to get dark.
‘Ahh… What am I doing, coming here…?’ Daniel thought as he walked to the park. ‘I came here really late, so he’s probably long gone… Not that I came here for him or anything,’ he thought, glancing around, spotting Jiho digging holes in the sand.
“What the,” he muttered in slight annoyance as he hastily walked to Jiho.
“Dude, what are you doing?!” Daniel questioned as he saw Jiho’s determined, unfazed gaze on his hole-digging.
“O-Oh!” Jiho’s eyes sparkled as he turned to Daniel. “You made it!!” he called out with a smile, causing Daniel to relent backward a little.
“What do you mean… You waited here all this time for me or something..?” Daniel asked reluctantly.
“Yeah!” Jiho answered without a second thought.
“What do you mean, ‘YEAH’?” Daniel said. “It’s 18:42 already! It’s pretty freakin’ late! And you’re all alone?!”
“Oh, I usually stay until 20:00 by myself, so it’s really okay! My house is nearby too, so…” Jiho called.
Daniel looked at him, his unweary eyes, those sand-filled palms of his, dirty clothes, and that hopeful gaze.
“… Screw it,” Daniel said as he settled next to him. “What are you doing?”
“Digging holes,” Jiho replied with a deadpan expression.
A vein popped on Daniel’s forehead. “DUDE, I’M NOT BLIND, I CAN SEE THAT!” he called out loudly. “I mean, WHY!!?”
“It’s fun,” Jiho replied once more with the deadpan expression. “Why else?”
Daniel struggled to hold his anger as he looked at Jiho’s dumbfounded face.
“Psche, I’ll show you fun,” he let out as he got up. “Come on.”
“…?” Jiho looked at him with wonder. “Where are we going?”
“Somewhere cool,” Daniel said confidently as he reached out his hand for Jiho.
It was then that Jiho, who is usually hesitant about leaving his comfort zone, reached for Daniel’s hand and grabbed it without hesitation.
Daniel led him to a nightclub’s back entrance and showed Jiho nightlife, which mesmerized him.
“Cool, ain’t it?” Daniel said, looking contently at Jiho’s lost gaze and wonder.
“S-so… cool…!! So many adults…”
From then on, I just trusted him with whatever… That boat he floated on, I climbed up on it. He seemed so natural at doing everything. Whether it was navigating through the city, talking with grown-ups, or even giving advice on how to deal with my mom, and my dad that never visits.
He was my best friend… and a best friend that made me want to be better.
To be just like him. Someone who jumped for someone else’s helped, and acted like it was no big deal…
… Not because I thought of kindness and stuff like that.
But because, every time I remember him saving me… I thought that someone like that is…
… Really cool. Someone that helps people.
I even stopped tormenting my dog at home after meeting him.
My dog was worth more than just a piece of cloth on fire, I came to realize. It was as if I realized that I had eyes in my eyeball sockets all of a sudden.
Later, I met Eunhee. I sat at the park, digging holes—my usual routine activity as I waited for Daniel, or during days I didn’t meet him. She then got close and asked what I was doing, and seemed almost fascinated by it.
I was more than exhilarated that she actually showed interest in something I did, something that not even Daniel ever did.
“Oh,” Daniel said as he got to the park. “Who’s she?” he murmured to himself as he drew near, seeing the ginger-haired girl digging holes next to Jiho.
I met Eunhee a few times whenever Daniel couldn’t come to the park to play. It was only a week or two after meeting her that both she and Daniel were at the park with me… And even then I knew that… I loved her.
“Oh, DANIEL!!” Jiho called as he noticed him in his peripheral vision, snapping to him. “Daniel, this is Eunhee!!” Jiho enthusiastically introduced the two.
I liked both of them. For the first time in my life, I felt what abundance is like. I felt… generous. There was now a flame inside me, and it wasn’t of the fleeting one. It was grand. Almost too grand. I wanted to share Daniel, and I wanted to share Eunhee. I wanted both of them to meet, like some sort of crossover from the cartoons I always watched. That’s what I felt. Like two characters from my favorite stories meeting each other.
Trust does keep you afloat. I had so much of it with these two, I felt as if I was on a mountain; hundreds of meters above water; climbing with the two of them by my side.
“O-oh, u-uh… Hi…” Daniel called out weakly as he looked away, a small blush on his face.
“Ahhhh~~ Daniel is shy…~” Jiho teased with a smirk as Eunhee chuckled lightly.
“S-SHUT UP!!!” he snapped. “You’re the one who decided to bring a girl here!!” he called loudly.
Their meeting was just as I anticipated. It was really something out of a fantasy novel. From then on… we were never separated. All the way until high school. It was then that I finally gathered courage and asked Eunhee out before a festival our school would have. Daniel advised me against it, but I could no longer hold my feelings in check. She was kind, pretty, and… I could feel she could look beyond my eyes, and she understood me… And I knew that I understood her.
Forget just understanding, forget mountains, drowning or other metaphors of the like… I… had the most fun when I was there with her. I felt that I could be a kid forever as long as we’re together. Despite what Daniel told me not to do, I felt that if I confessed, everything will be alright, so I could no longer fight with those feelings of mine anymore.
I wanted to be truly close to her.
Truly bonded with her on every level.
“I’m sorry, Jiho…” she murmured as she looked down, the wind brushing against her hair.
“I’m… already in a relationship with Daniel… For quite a while now. Sorry for not telling you… I’m really sorry… But I really do love him with all my heart.” She nodded before she turned away and walked out of the rooftop’s exit.
What the fuck?
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