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[Another NTR I FORCED myself to watch over and over again to get all the details right, and thought this would also be a good practice for my main original novel. To write an alternate ending to another hentai I hated. Anyway, enjoy.]

Nanami sat on a bench in the park, basking in the sunshine. The sky stretched out bluer than ever, and the sun beamed down with unwavering brightness. Yet, despite the idyllic scene, time had not been kind to her.

Her husband, Shinagawa, had left her two or three years ago. In a desperate attempt to cling to her youth, she had fought against the inevitable march of time. But Shinagawa’s words had been brutally honest: “You’re not as I remembered.” And yet, Nanami knew deep down that nothing about her had truly changed except her appearance, which had naturally aged over the years. The harsh truth settled in—Shinagawa was a superficial man.

Their son had once been her pride and joy. But as the years slipped by and he entered college, even he stopped visiting.

After Shinagawa’s departure, Nanami considered returning to Hino, her pervious fling. However, fate played a cruel joke—Hino turned out to be no different from Shinagawa.

He, too, rejected her, preferring a younger woman. 

Reflecting on their past, she chuckled bitterly. He claimed to have loved her since their college days, but it was clear that his love was as shallow as Shinagawa’s. 

‘Love from first sight, hah,’ She berated herself for not recognizing the pattern sooner.

“I bet there was a woman just like me when Hino first saw me in university. But he completely overlooked her because she was old and ‘used’, the same as I am right now. Haaah…” She sighed deeply as she reflected on her past.

And then there was her sister, Chihiro. 

They were true sisters, cut from the same cloth. Despite being married for years, Chihiro sought excitement outside her marriage, entangled with a handsome man every once in a while.

 Nanami couldn’t help but think, ‘At least she’ll have some fun years before her husband divorces her due to the passage of time.’ She hoped he wouldn’t break her heart too callously.

Now, at 54 years old, Nanami found herself alone in the park. 

Shinagawa had found a partner nearly 20 years younger than him. She couldn’t help but think, ‘Good for him’, even though this fact irked her.

She knew the moment she laid eyes on Shinagawa’s new partner, the woman he had already proposed to; she looked just like Nanami when she was younger. It was clear he was simply replacing her with a more youthful version of the Nanami he once fancied so terribly.

Indeed, a very superficial man. Suddenly, all his words of passion, the compliments he once whispered in her ear, now sounded empty and devoid of meaning.

Meanwhile, her own son visited her less frequently, leaving her with a silent ache. Yet, out of goodwill, she kept her feelings unspoken.

Life had dealt Nanami a complex hand, and the park bench bore witness to her quiet struggles.

Since when had she last sat on a bench, doing nothing? The question echoed in her mind, reverberating through the years. 

It was a peculiar sensation—boredom. Once, her life with Shinagawa, her now-ex-husband, had been a whirlwind of adventure. Every day held a new spectacle: journeys, hikes, luxurious meals and gifts he’d give her, aimless; romantic drives, and, of course, great sex. 

As a woman who is quite heavily reliant on the pleasure derived from sex, she never grew bored of it. That and with how Shinagawa knew his way around a woman’s body and only improved his technique over time; only made her love having sex with him even more. There hasn’t a day that went by without her craving for some passionate intimacy with him.

But now, in her golden years, as she saw Shinagawa’s infatuation fade due to her appearance; the vibrancy of her life had turned into a monochrome landscape. Joyful thoughts were replaced by persistent boredom and feeling of pointlessness which had settled in over the past two or three years, an uninvited companion.

Perhaps this was the way of the world—for women like her, or perhaps for women in general.

Once they’d served their purpose, they were left to navigate the quiet solitude of aging. Women, she mused, were exquisite creatures, their beauty ephemeral. They should seize life while their allure still sparkled, like dewdrops on morning petals. Yet, despite this knowledge, she despised the gnawing sense of futileness that now consumed her days.

She had preferred if she never settled with anyone to begin with, if that was really was her’s, and all the other women’s fate. It would save her a lot of heart ache.

Oddly enough, though, she remembered a time when boredom felt different—when it was a welcome respite.

When was it? When had she last done nothing and still felt content? The answer emerged unbidden: Shuuichi, her first husband.

With a sigh, she blurted out, “I wonder how Shuuichi is doing.” 

He had never attended her wedding to Shinagawa, and she understood why. Who would willingly witness their ex-wife’s union? Shuuichi had faded into the background, never visiting, never exchanging pleasantries during chance encounters.

For a fleeting moment, she pondered why he had never reached out to her after she was divorced with Shinagawa; as if she forgot what happened between them. 

And just then, the memories rushed back—the note, the divorce papers, her ring, and that damning image of him with another woman. 

Even she wouldn’t reach out to herself. Especially after realizing she actually asked herself why wouldn’t he.

‘Still… I hope he’s doing well’, she thought, her inner voice a whisper. 

She wondered: What would Shuuichi think if he knew she had cheated from the very beginning? Before Shinagawa and even before Hino.

She let that thought linger, allowing it to float in the quiet spaces of her mind. “Well,” she mused aloud, “Shuu-kun is also a man. Perhaps he’s found someone who fits his fancy, like Shinagawa-san.” Her smile remained calm, yet still feeling a small sense of discomfort at the thought.

Yet, as her eyes fluttered open once more, her heart plummeted. Completely.

There, in the park, she saw a now grown Shuuichi strolling hand in hand with another woman.

But this woman—her face etched with wrinkles, skin weathered by time, and body bearing the weight of years—seemed to carry more scars than even Nanami herself.

‘Why… How… How is he smiling like that..? With a woman like her…?’ She wondered as his joy radiated, inexplicably, as if he’d discovered a hidden treasure every single time he looked at his new partner.

“S-shuuichi…?” Her voice trembled, barely audible. She watched them, locked in a private conversation as they walked.

‘Men are supposed to be superficial,’ she reflected bitterly. ‘It’s the woman’s role to fill that void. And in return, their partner will shower them with love,’

This is what she learned in her 30+ years of marriage with Shinagawa which ended up in an awkward divorce.

‘But what does Shuu-kun see in that woman!!? She has nothing left to offer, no way to mend the emptiness in his heart.’ She thought with a pout.

A realization struck her, a flash of memory surfacing from her time with her first husband.

Her gaze dropped, laden with shame.

‘It had been so long that I’d forgotten. Even in my worst moments, he never stopped looking at me the way he looks at her, right now.’

‘There was only one time I ever saw Shuuichi looking sad and guilty when I met his gaze… It was the night I received the image from Shinagawa-san.’

She clutched her fingers in her dress as she sat.

‘He genuinely felt guilty about it… I guess he was new to it..? To cheating? To think that cheating once hurt him so much that he couldn’t function. And then there’s me in comparison; I couldn’t stop doing it, and I didn’t even properly break up with him or explain myself… Or even let him explain himself.’

She realized, ‘Even though I constantly told myself back then that I loved Shuuichi more than anything, I constantly lied to him and hid everything from him.’

She clutched her skin tightly. ‘Honestly, Shinagawa-san and I are a match made in heaven. We’re both terrible humans… and excellent liars.’

‘… I deserve this.’

“N-nanami?! It’s you, isn’t it?” An enthusiastic voice cut through the air, coming from above her.

She raised her head, “S-… Shuuichi…?” she called softly, the sun rays hiding behind his hat-covered head.

‘H-he… Recognized me…?’ She thought, her heart beating almost violently at the sight of him.

Struggling to keep her eyes open, she recognized him. “It is you! How have you been!?” he exclaimed, a big smile on his face.

Nanami couldn’t see much of his appearance or his face, but she knew how vibrant his smile must be. She felt it.

“Hello… Shuuichi-san. Are you here with your wife?” she asked quietly.

“Ahh, haha! Yeah! I told her I wanted to catch up, so I went to see you. May I sit?” he said, signaling with his hand that he wanted to sit next to her.

“Y-yes… please.” She called softly and silently, feeling out of breath as she lowered her gaze, struggling to meet his.

As he settled beside her, keeping a safe distance, Nanami observed his thighs and sprawled out body. He seemed loose and somewhat relaxed. 

“Man, it sure has been a while! How have you been? Why are you by yourself?” he inquired innocently.

“Oh…”

Lifting her gaze a little more, she could see that big smile on his face. It was even brighter than she had envisioned. Brighter than she had remembered.

‘Shinagawa-san divorced me, and my son wouldn’t visit,’ she thought of saying, but the words wouldn’t come out.

She then felt a certain tinge in her heart. For some reason, she felt frustrated she can no longer be the cause of his smile.

“I… I thought I’d relax out here for just a bit. Aside from work, life’s been great, I guess… Haha.” Nanami ended up blurting, scratching her head while forcing a smile.

‘…Yes, that’s right. Lie. Why would he ever care about you? Lie like you know best,’ She internally told herself as she kept her smile up.

‘You long since missed your chance to—’

“Huh? Why’re you forcing a smile, Nanami-san? You sure you’re okay?” he tilted his head at her, confused.

His voice pierced through. A string of reason coming undone within her.

‘It has been so long.’

‘Yet… How can he tell?’

“F-forcing a smile…? Why would you say that, Shuuichi-san?” She asked, tears starting to rush up her throat. For the first time in a while, someone could sense the pain festering in her heart.

But the guilt within her, serving as a stubborn dam, would not let her pain and her frustration flow out.

“Well… We were married at some point. You would usually stretch your left lip more whenever you do that. Are you sure everything’s fine?” He pressed.

‘That one small detail… You remember something like that about me…? What… What have I done to earn that kind of attention from you?’ She pondered, feeling her innate frustration and curiosity start to bubble upwards, beating harder against the dam.

‘This is definitely some sort of attempt to impress me… Right?’ She argued internally, as if in an attempt to quell her raging emotions.

“Well… My work has been really tough, so I didn’t have enough time to be at home… I guess… Haha… That aside, I’m surprised you’d remember unimportant stuff like that, how corny,” She replied.

“Hehe, you think so? Well, I guess I’m corny, then,” He agreed, laughing loudly as well.

‘Hah… What a disgusting laughter,’ She thought in slight amusement as she heard his laughter and examined his looseness.

‘Ah…’

As she realized Shuuichi wasn’t maintaining a facade, she relaxed her body, her shoulders loosening, and found the strength to meet his gaze.

His casual smile was somewhat infectious, despite the brewing storm inside of her.

She sighed with a relaxed smile. “I could sure use some corny in my life right now. It’s nice seeing you, Shuuichi-san,” she said, her voice trailing off.

“Hm? Can you repeat that?” Shuuichi replied.

‘Why did I say that? Stop… He’s a happily married man,’ she thought as she shook her head. 

“I-I just said it was nice seeing you.”

“I see. How’s Shinagawa-san these days? Is he too busy to accompany you?” Shuuichi inquired.

‘Busy… Haah… I suppose she keeps him busy nowadays,’ she thought, her frustration resuming its desperate ascent. Begging to be let out.

“Oh… H-him… He… He’s…” she mumbled lightly.

Her gaze softened as she imagined. What if they were married right now? She could tell him anything without discomfort. She involuntarily pictured herself spilling her heart to him.

‘…He left me. Once he saw some wrinkles, he wanted to run as far as he could. But he stayed for a while, as if to not hurt my feelings,’ she thought. Using her imagination as some form of stabilizer to keep her emotions in check and stop them from pouring out.

“He’s… doing great! He’s… He’s been really kind. I love him,” she replied out loud.

‘… He left me. So, leave that woman too… We could be together again… Surely, I’m at least prettier than her, right?’ Her thoughts rushed through her mind ceaselessly.

“I see! That’s good to hear, Nanami. Say, you have a son, right? How’s he doing these days?”

‘He doesn’t visit me. He prefers visiting my ex-husband and his new wife… I’m… I’m all alone.’

“He’s very successful! He’s in college and visits us a lot. He likes to bring gifts, and I heard he recently proposed to his girlfriend,” Nanami said, masking her sadness.

“Oooh! Amazing news! Invite us to his wedding, whenever that may be,” Shuuichi replied cheerfully.

“S-say… Shuuichi-san. Would…” she muttered, her frustration proving itself stronger than her guilt, causing cracks in said dam, and pouring through. “W-Would you like to catch up? Coffee’s on me? Later today? Shinagawa-san’s not home, so you wouldn’t be intruding.”

‘Maybe… We could be friends? Yeah… That would be nice, wouldn’t it? At least that.’

Shuuichi’s smile waned.

“Oh… Visit your house while your husband is gone…? I don’t know… If we were married, I wouldn’t want you to meet someone else in our house… Especially a man that’s outside of the family, even if it’s just a friendly catch-up,” he replied, scratching his head.

She felt her heart collapse as she heard his words, recalling her past endeavors in their own home. 

‘I’m… I’m so… So sorry… Shuuichi…’

“I guess… It just sounds wrong? Besides, I—”

“Then, a coffee shop?” Nanami blurted, cutting him off. Refusing to let go of her hope. “We could meet up after work hours or on a holiday, and—”

But then, Shuuichi held his hand against her face. “Wait a minute, Nanami. I can’t.”

“Oh… W-why?”

“Tomorrow is our anniversary, and my wife and I are planning to go abroad… Sorry. Maybe some other time? We could also have a double date with you and Shinagawa-san,” he said with an awkward smile.

“O-oh… Haha… Y-yeah…! That sounds great… It really is,” she replied.

‘Shuuichi wouldn’t want to see another woman without his own wife present, huh? I… I’m really… Really sorry, Shuuichi. At least… You seem happy now. I’m…’

“I’m happy for you, Shuuichi. You found a good woman… And she found herself a good man.” She expressed loudly.

‘… I’M… I… HATE IT.’ She thought, gritting her teeth behind her sealed lips. Her frustration tearing through her guilt violently.

Shuuichi then looked down, a solemn smile on his face.

“I… Nanami. This is a good opportunity.”

“Huh?” she wondered.

“Nanami… I… Never properly apologized to you for… You know… For cheating on you with that escort woman.”

‘Stop…’ She thought as she bit on her lip, nearly biting into it while his gaze was averted.

“You’ve been nothing but a good woman to me, and I suppose I felt small next to Shinagawa-san, and wanted to know that at the very least, I’m doing one thing that’s right with you.” He confessed, his voice heavy.

‘Everyone else was small when compared to you…!! I’m the one who should apologize…! You did… Nothing wrong…!’

Tears welled up in her throat, climbing to her eyes, yet she repeatedly and discreetly swallowed them.

“So I went to that escort… I know it was foolish and stupid, and I shouldn’t have done that. I’m really sorry for hurting you so much that you left without a word.” He apologized, his voice firm.

‘I’m the one who should be sorry…!!’

“I see. It’s alright, Shuuichi-san. I forgive you,” she said, forcing a smile yet hiding that habit of hers that Shuuichi mentioned.

“Haha, I see… Thank you. It’s not something easy to forgive. But I’m glad we’re past that,” he sighed with relief.

After a few seconds of silence, Shuuichi rose from the bench and walked toward his loving wife.

‘I wonder if that’s what he felt when I married Shinagawa-san… It feels… Really bad,’ she thought as she looked at them.

‘Did he also wish Shinagawa-san was dead so that he could take his place beside me once more?’

“See you later, Nanami! Let’s go on that double date sometime, alright?!” he called with a wave as he walked back to his wife.

“Goodbye!” she replied with a wave.

‘No… Shuuichi’s happy. I need to accept that. Wishing someone dead, especially his wife… What am I thinking? He loves her. If she dies, Shuuichi won’t be happy anymore.’

She watched Shuuichi smile at his wife, despite her clear superficial flaws.

‘But if she’s gone… I could replace her… NO… Stop. Get hold of yourself, Nanami,’ she berated herself.

‘Wishing death upon someone… Haah… This loneliness is gnawing at my sanity,’ she thought, rubbing her forehead.

“But…”

She gulped, biting her lip.

 If by some dumb luck, you break up with her… I-I… I won’t cheat… I won’t even look at someone else… Even if you’re away… Even if you come to me while still married to her… So… If you’re ever unhappy… If you ever feel lonely and sad… I’ll let you in. I’ll welcome you… I’ll cherish you like I should have done.”

‘I’ll wait.’

[DING! REGRESSION UNLOCKED! YOUR UNSIGHTLY PAST BECKONS MENDING! YOUR YOUTHFUL HEART, YET MATURED MIND QUALIFIES YOU FOR REGRESSION!]

‘H-huh!? What is this…!?’ She thought, startled as she sat on the park bench, looking at a Digital interface hologram of some sort popping up before her eyes, 

‘Is this what those kids call… VR?’ she thought as she tried pressing it, her hand clipping right through the hologram-like interface.

[WOULD YOU LIKE TO REGRESS BACK TO YOUR PRIME YEARS, AND ATTEMPT TO SAVE YOUR FIRST LOVE FROM RUIN?]

[YES] [NO]

Without thinking too much, and a heart stricken with guilt and regret, she said.

“Yes.”